Monday, September 3, 2007

Parts of Kizzie's diary: Where are you dear cousins? Chapter 2

Aunt:- I heard from some people that there are still training camps in Sudan, they brainwash young men before recruiting them, they tell them to leave their families and homes n join the jihad(holy war)
Kizzie:- what? This is horrible! I thought we are out of the terrorism thing
Aunt:- no, it makes's a very logical explanation, he is not the only one 7abebti, many young man dissapeared around the same time.

I left feeling even more confused. It made sense but how could they do that?

May 2006
I came back from university and my mother is crying.
My first reaction is :- Who died?
Mother:- s's son is gone. He left 3 days ago and they can't find him anywhere
Kizzie:- mother, he is probably at a friends house. He is not gone forever ya3ni!
Mother:- No, just like A's son...they keep dissapearing
Kizzie:- oh
A's son left 4 years ago and never came back.

This cousin of mine was actually my mother's 1st cousin(his father and her mother were siblings) but because my grandmother was old and she was married quite young, my mother's cousins are my age, a bit older or even younger.
He was 19, a university sophomore and very reserved.
Unlike my other cousins, he usually didn't come to our(my other cousin is a singer so we had many parties!) and I didn't see him much to be honest. I think he liked isolating himself!

About a year ago, he became a bit too religious( there is nothing wrong with being religious!) but when he started putting rules and forcing his sisters to abide by them, it started getting out of control.
The rules included:-
1-No TV
2-Arguing with them about the way they dress etc...
The mosque became the place where he spent most of his time and not only that, he also started isolating himself from other people.

What did his family do about it?
You are probably thinking "his dad should've noticed and did something about it". He only hectored him about the way he started treating his sisters and told him to mind his own business but nobody took some serious action.
Why is he spending so much time at some places?
Why did he change?
What's wrong with him?

His mother died of cancer when he was about 12 and his father was getting married a few weeks after he disappeared. Mabye he felt distanced from the rest of his family, mabye he missed his mother because she was the only person who listened to him, mabye he was just frustrated with life and felt that even if he graduated- not only graduates in Sudan find jobs.

I'm a bit uncomfortable using the term disappeared with this cousin because he just walked out completely aware of what he is getting himself into. He was brainwashed ,lectured and prepared for this day, the day he left.

I'm not going to blame him because it's not his fault. He was probably too galluable or just happy he found a bunch of people who supposedly cared about him and listened to his frustrations.
Why couldn't he be close to other cousins or family members?
How come we didn't noticethat he alienated himself before it was too late?

Alot of questions, almost no answers.

I'm just really angry because he had a long life ahead of him, his creativity and his contribution to his country , to his family and to the entire world is lost and his family can'tforget him but they also can't forgive him.
I'm angry because young men like my cousin where easy targets. They were deceived . Their life isn't worth anything to the people who talked them into being martyrs.
Is this what god wanted him to do? - Leave his family and runaway to a world full of hatred and criminal activity.
He is gone and I personally don't believe he is ever going back.
It was shocking in the begining then it was sad, now, he is only a memory.
He could be dead or planning the death of someone.
He could be sitting somewhere in this world regretting his decision or he could be happy because he thinks he is doing the right thing.

I don't know.
I don't think I want to know.

Where are you dear cousins? Afghanistan? Sudan?Iraq?Pakistan?Egypt?

1 comment:

Dalu said...

This is really sad Kizzie. :(

I'd share a story, and I do tend to overshare, lol. But the story I have is just too ugly.

But it's really saddening when young minds are targeted where they are vulnerable the most. Through twisted
"religious" doctrine. Sometimes I want to remove responsibility from such folks, but in the end, I find it really difficult. It's true that we can be bombarded sometimes with mixed/strong messages but when it comes down to it, we choose to take certain actions. Of course we could still be (or are) victims in the end...non the less, like the case of your cousin. He was taken advantage of.